Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
