you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
