What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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