well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
