dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
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Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
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