have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
