He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
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