nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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