Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
