Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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