Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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