I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
