hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
The air taste purple.
Randomize
