I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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