We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
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I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
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apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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