Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
