Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
