also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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