I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
