Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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