A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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