I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
