i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You can't just leave with hair like that
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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