I should be sponsored by Trojan
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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