Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
