I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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