Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
