Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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