i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
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we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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