I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize