Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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