Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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