I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
