im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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