Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
