i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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