I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
