So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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