You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize