We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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