just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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