is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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