Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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