If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
where are my eyebrows?
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