Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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