Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize