so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
He passed out mid-signature
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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