I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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