Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
