did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
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