Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
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I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
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The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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