just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
