Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
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