WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
